please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
