No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
