One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone shattered a urinal.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
