As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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