you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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