big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
