And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
