I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
