I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
