Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
