she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
