I think I died a long time ago.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
