That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have demons in me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
