I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
