New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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