I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
