Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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