is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
