i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
