try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Please don't give away my fajitas
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
