Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
