after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
