i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
