Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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