She said her name was "party"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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