Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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