They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
