whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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