Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
