Duck Duck Cougar?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
