is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
