Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
