Your tits are I can't wait for
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
