i just sent this text using only my big toe
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
