shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Enjoy the penises
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
