I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
