That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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