About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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