Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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