Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
