Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's blow job season.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
