if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
