she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
