Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
