before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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