remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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