I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
