im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How external is "for external use only"?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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