how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
