Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
