We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
