This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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