She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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