WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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