At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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