You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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