Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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