This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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