I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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