just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
