I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We need to get me chipped asap
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
